Quotes by Eric Stonestreet

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I have a Tinder account. Now I've done Bumble, and I've tried this other one, and the way I justified it is that... because I'm on TV, I shouldn't be eliminated from participating in what's going on in the world. But people are always like, 'I can't believe you're on a dating app!'
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I don't think I could keep my position as a well-standing man in the world if I thought there were roles for men and women.
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I'm an actor in that I just want to create roles and characters and play parts that people remember and like or dislike or hate.
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I'm a good boy! I do what I'm told; I'm on time. I'm always where I'm supposed to be when I'm supposed to be there. I don't mess around with other people's time and schedule. And I eat my vegetables. And my meats. And my carbs. And my dairy.
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Right outside of Kansas City is Leavenworth, and there are, like, five prisons there. It was kind of the tapestry of my childhood. I was always fascinated. I wanted to know what was behind those walls.
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Listen, re-gifting is fine as long as there is transparency. You just have to be like, 'This is something I got that I couldn't use, and I thought you might like it.'
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I got dared to audition for a play by my best friend Paul. He got cast in 'Hamlet,' and I got cast in 'Prelude to a Kiss,' and that changed everything.
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I'm a full-contact actor, meaning that I love to act in my toes and in my fingers, and I just try to keep it surprising.
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I tell people all the time that producers, writers, and directors really don't know what they want until it walks into the room - you have to show them what they want. Everyone is rooting for you when you walk into the room. Everyone wants you to be good because it means their day is over!
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I like the Open Window Fresh WetJet scent; it smells pretty good as you are using it. I like fresh and clean smells, so it makes sense that I would also be partnered with Swiffer because that is what they are all about: making your house all fresh and clean.
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